Frustrated?

YES! i'm FREAKING FRUSTRATED!!

and i dont even know why... cuz the person i'm frustrated over is not even "someone" in my life YET! and i really feel the heartache when he do the things he do... actually not really the things he "do" but the things he "dint" do!! such as :

>talk to me

>smile to me

>look straight at me

>reply my messages

it really bothers me cuz its like, one day you're nice to me and the next day you just splash me with a cold water... and SUDDENLY i'm a no friend zone! i'm really totally blurr right now... or maybe i'm really blurr for all my life...

but still please, why dont you just talk to me and tell me what's wrong....

i really wanna know...

心。

好久没有写了。。。

差点忘了有这个地方呢。。。

怎么说呢。。？

都不要紧了吧。。。

一厢情愿的不要回报，

也怕和他要。。。

怕和他联络会烦到他，

怕去找他，别人会说他。。

眼睁睁看着他高兴的和她聊天，

感觉就像，一双手的把他奉献给她人。。。

而我什么都没有权说，什么都没有权做。。

虽然有人给我转移注意力。。。

可是，你知道吗？

通常电话拿起的时候，

第一个我都会想起你。。。

然后会有一个声音告诉我

“不行，不能烦他了。不然你连朋友这个地位都会没有的。。。”

我知道我陷入太深了。。

所以，

就让我这样的过完这些日子吧。。。

可能出了社会工做，

没有时间找他，

就会慢慢忘记吧。。。

心痛的感觉，只有自己懂

Unbelievable...

i cant believe i did that....

plz tell me its a dream....

Emptiness

i just dont know what to do with it... i know that the love i had b4 was not there anymore... its now just a complicated friendship that we having now... so lets just hv a 2 weeks of emptiness stays empty deep inside me... not thinking of anything... be crazy... at least i have someone beside me for this 2 weeks... altho i know its not really the thing i want... not the person that i want... but... he's fine for the moment... at least he's open and doesnt freak out and avoid me....

feels not right...

well i know that they were just talking... and i dont think its anyway, any freaking way my problem or related to me... but the words are just too much to take... its like stabbing into my heart without anyone realizing it... and the words made me realize what kinda person is in your partnership... your 2 person limited partnership... its just simply not me... i'm just not crazy enough for you... aren't i...?

question is...
should i just avoid you these few months...?
avoid as in fb, msn, sms... n everything...
should i just try to let myself be stupid again and go for another one?
well a lota ppl will say no for the 2nd question i guess... for it is too dumb... but how to forget about what's happening now... ...?

it just happened

and i cant help it...
it just did...

Ignore it...

let me just do this for now...
cuz i dont even know who "it's" for...

N'aime pas Toujour ... ...

I wonder if its just me being too sensitive...?

Or is this just the way it always should be...?


You can just tell me,
and i'll go away....

Realize....

I suddenly realize that no matter how much i miss you, you'll never turn your head to me and look at me, talk to me... Did you even realize what you said is not something that you did....? Everything has changed since... was it my fault? Well i guess it was... i shouldn't have told you anything, i shouldn't have shown any expression that could have given you the clue, i shouldn't even have that kinda feeling... But you said everything will be just the same like what we used to be... But i realize now that it just can't be the same anymore... its getting heavier each day, and i just couldn't bare it any more... i want to blame the school, i want to blame her, i want to blame them... even tho i know i cant, cause I'm clear that the fault is not on them... but seeing that she makes you happy when i cant, i feel jealous and at the same time relieve... cause i had a feeling that you're slowly being happier than you used to... there's someone that you can trust... although... you said before that you wont... i'm sorry that i'm causing you these trouble...
you said before that you know "that kind of feeling" is awful, and you don't want me to have it... but the truth is, feelings cant be put down so easily... but i'm trying to, and i'll try hard...

Impossibilities...

i wonder why things just goes to the different direction that i want them to be...
i gave my best for it...
but it turns out that way... so whats the point...?
it'll just be wasting my time...
but why am i always so annoyingly do the things i shouldn't be doing....?
and at last get myself hurt... without being able to tell anyone...
or rather to say... I'm afraid to tell you........
the one who I'd like to share everything with....

Habit...ais...

It kinda light me a bulb looking at this verb....
J'habit+ais=J'habitais...
Habit is usually hard as ais(ice)...
You have to wait for it to melt... n some ice just does not melt fast...

i'm just trying to say that i cant seems to change the habit of telling everything to you...
but something kept me from doing that...
i know its better for me to NOT hv that thing to keep me from you...
but its like the ice... it doesnt wanna melt...

__________________________________________________________

Taylor Swift : Teardrops On My Guitar Lyrics

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
______________________________________________________

我决定我的决定。。。

我想，你已经决定了。
就像我对他一样，做了我的决定。
那我也应该是时候，对你做个决定了。。。
。。。
我。。。
现在可以感受到。。。
你以前所有的感受。。。
我该怪校园搬了。。。？
还是怪我的梦。。。？
还是我的心。。。？

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

他妈的！！！
连朋友都没得做了吗？？？！！！！

我只要回以前的时光都不能吗？？？！！

讨厌你啦 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~！！！！！

I Dont Know

Breakeven
(The Script)

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no

What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no

What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no

What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I supposed to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)

Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no

-------------------------------------------------------------

This is such a nice song...
especially the part "what am i gonna do when the best part of me was always you?"
This song made me think of a lot of ppl...
a lot of things...

But i realize now that i dont have time to think about things anymore...
i need to concentrate on my study...
desperately i need some changes in myself...
where i dont know where to start with...

So....
Wish me luck~!!
Muaxx!!

Dream...

Can anyone know how a dream can be so real...?
I know that won't happen in real life...
Still... Can't help it...
I can still feel the feeling....
I can still remember how it was....
I can still tell you what i did...

But... its only a Dream... Something that you cant Touch....

Finally~~!!!

well... 2 years been thru fast enough for us to feels like we just passed a few days in diploma... but in reality, we've finished DIPLOMA IN HOSPITALITY MANAGEMENT on the 10th of April, with the witness of friends and lecturers that we've meet in the course since the first day of college...

i dont really know how to maintain a relationship between friends as i dont know how to communicate really well sometimes... anything that i do wrong to you guys... do forgive me... i might be insignificant, but I'll be right here when you need me... altho i might not contact you for long or whatsoever... but i'll still remember you and the things that we've done together... you dont get any stupid loyal friends like this much around easily~!! ;P

okay!! lets cut this shit n back to positivity~!!!

today went to college to register n i freaking forget to ask what i need to bring for registration!!!! OMG!!! why am i again this stupid??? n i even forget to bring the form back for dad to sign!!! T_T
but then i'm happy again~~~ cuz went to movie with Eunice Chan Shu Kien!! hahaha!!! watched the cutest movie i've ever watched since long long time i guess...
which is........

*How to train your DRAGON*

after the movie went to The Manhattan Fish Market... The woman had Fish n Chips, and i had Caesar Salad with mushroom soup!! XD after that filling meal, we head all the way to kepong "I Love Koffee" n had each of us a big mug of Latte which cost not more than RM10!! which we think is quite worth cuz its a big mug and the quality of the Koffee is Great!!!


well anyway!! i'll be off now!! update next time ba!!!
MUAXX!!! XP

Tart! Tart! Tart! Fart!

I'm so happy for my "Apple Tart"!!!

parents likes it... XD
gave some to neighbor...

"this picture is actually taken after my mom cut it into half, as you can see..."

wanna try making a crust that's smooooth...... XD
wonder how.... maybe i should just check online n see whether they tell you the method of doing the smooooth short-crust... hehe...


ANYWAY....

here's another song for some of my friends...

别再为他流泪
你走了太久一定很累
他错了不该你来面对
离开他就好 就算了
心情很干脆

他其实没有那么绝对
远一点你就看出真伪
离开他不等于你的世界会崩溃
转个弯你还能飞

就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧 一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉
每段感情都非常珍贵
他的好你就放在心扉
记得有个人曾让你 那样的心醉

你笑了照亮夜幕的黑
什么梦都不比你的美
多少年以后想起他还有些体会
那些你已无所谓

就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧 一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉
以后管他是谁

Enjoy... Muaxx!

This is AWESOME SHIT!!! XD

Well i just came back from THE KLIA. went to see my uncle off to Canada for work... kinda feel happy for him but feel sad for my aunt cuz she had to take care of the 2 little devil for about 2 months b4 going off to Canada to meet my uncle, so... yah... well thats not the main point of this post actually... the main point that i wanna say is, it really funny to see...

"someone"
who's suppose to be guarding the expensive cars in the carpark to be sleeping soundly...

he dint even freaking awaken by my dad's rawring engine sound!!! for the fact that my dad car is a BIG Diesel injected car... which most of the time it sounds like a LORRY!! this guy was still sleeping when we left that particular level of carpark~~ XD
i was suggesting my mother to go near that guy, slam the table n say

"WHERE IS MY CAR?????"

or

"AAAHHHHHH~~~!!!!!"

hahahahha!!!! well anyway, i dont really trust this kinda thing. they ask you to register cuz its a big car just for the safety of our car.... Freaking Bull SHIT! I can sue the hell out of him OR his employer if my car is gone man!!!! XD

L'oral De Francaise!!

Gosh, i can say that we(the jury3 students) are freaking lucky to get Mr.Roma!! At first i was a bit annoyed that he took so much time for the previous students but, it was worth the wait... Not only that he smile constantly, he helps a lot too!!!
Il est tres sympathique!!
J'adore Monsieur Roma!!

Et Pour Vous Mon Amie,
i wish to tell you that "you wont fail.", but i wont say that.
cuz i wanna say "you'll fail" so that when you get the result of passing marks, you'll be freaking happy... D'accord?

Confused

I freaking do not know what, why, where, who and how to do it.
dont get me wrong, and dont think anything wrongly.
1. What to do with my academic and my future?
2. How to do to get MY satisfaction of MY future?
3. Why should i do whatever thing that i'm doing to get the satisfaction?
4. Who should i be looking for to get these answer?
5. Where should i go in the future so that i could be happy as who i am...?

other than that...

Why cant i just freaking be smarter...? I mean, i dont mean to sound kia-su but... I dont wanna waste anyone's money... Other than about the studying part, why cant i also be smarter in handling ppl?? I feel like i'm being pull around like freaking buffalo (skinny one of cuz)!! Why cant i say no to the suggestions?? Why cant i give good defend words that can help me get out of some stupid conversation and have to be control by ppl??
BECAUSE I SUCKS!!
FCUK THAT!!!!

很有意思的歌词~！！

为你我受冷风吹 林忆莲

为你我受冷风吹
寂寞时候流眼泪
有人问我是与非
说是与非
可是谁又真的关心谁
若是爱已不可为
你明白说吧无所谓
不必给我安慰
何必怕我伤悲
就当我从此收起真情
谁也不给
我会试着放下往事
管它过去有多美
也会试着不去想起
你如何用爱将我包围
那深情的滋味
但愿我会就此放下往事
忘了过去有多美
不盼缘尽仍留慈悲
虽然我曾经这样以为
我真的这样以为